And today... I handed in my resignation letter.
And gave my decision to my new principal, that I waa accepting the new position.
#ItsGettingRealNow
And today... I handed in my resignation letter.
And gave my decision to my new principal, that I waa accepting the new position.
#ItsGettingRealNow
Reminder - create new Growth Mindset posters for the classroom. Re-teach to those who need it and to others who may also.
I wrote this post back on the 11th March. I never put it here. I should have but I didn't.
Anyway here it is... after tonight's weeny shock at seeing one of my students in his colours with the other members at the supermarket... think tonight is just as pertinent as any to share this. If anything it hardens my resolve to find a way through to this particular class where it's such an issue daily.
An open message to all gang prospects, gang members who entice younger high school students and their leaders who allow this to happen:
Every day I am happy to see my students walk through the door of our classroom. I am passionate about wanting them to learn and believe that they can achieve. To push them forward to be the best possible them that they can be.
The issue I see every day is my students kowtowing to my other students in hopes to become a new member or within their mode of operandi as prospects. These students happen to be among my wide list of awesome students and it breaks my heart that they only see this as a possible future for themselves. That they give up working on their beautiful art and creative writing or drama and dance because it supposedly doesn't help in their future lives.
Our students deserve more than this. They deserve whanau who believe they are capable of achieving more than they ever possibly dreamed of. Our students try their very best in class and work hard to learn the behaviours appropriate in each class and at school. They push themselves to please us as sometimes we're the only happy face to see them during their day or they trust us and believe that we'll have their best interests at heart.
Whanau, I know you all want the best for them too - but at the end of the day - we need to break the cycle. And it starts with all of us. To find a place of calm and understanding and know that there is a better place out there for them. To let them be free to make their own choices (albeit whether that means they choose to stay in the gang as that's the only life they know).
Believe in them. They are more than what you may see. They are talented and wonderful kids who ache to have someone tell them this. They crave encouragement. They literally sparkle when you encourage them and tell them you believe in them. Let them see the world and all its joys and hardtimes too. But most of all - let them be kids. Don't force them into something because that's how it was for you.
I'm proud to teach our students. I care about each and every single one. I will always do my absolute best to advocate for the safety and happiness of every one of my students - past, present and future kids.
Just give them a chance to see the opportunities awaiting them.
Naku noa,
Alex Le Long
Earlier today on Facebook I posted somewhat of a rant as I felt that I was bottling stuff up that had to do with my choices in life and my aspirations within my career.
I won't repost it here but the general gist was that I felt like I was being made to feel guilty for not spending enough time or effort making a life outside of school. I've felt this a lot myself over the last few years here in Rotorua and perhaps that's why it hurt a little when I rethought it again this morning before writing. Because... at the end of it - it comes down to perception.
The perception I have of this issue is that I'm proud of where I've come so far. I've overcome a lot of issues, both emotional, psychological and physical as well as spiritual issues too. I've become a stronger and more confident person. I finally feel like the person I was when I was 16. With dreams and aspirations and a beautiful positive attitude that is trying hard not to be weighed down by the pressures of society.
The problem I suppose and the reason I'm now writing this post is because for some strange reason - I feel guilt for not having a life. A life where I have a lot of friends and a husband or partner and children. I feel guilt because I'm the oldest child and because I'm a woman and because even at 27 there is still this thing in the back of my mind that's telling me I have no worth unless I'm hitched and hapu. Which I know is pathetic and wrong.
However - as a result of this stupid unfounded guilt - I felt like I need to explain myself further this morning and say that I'm actually really proud of who I am and what I've done. I'm excited about my dreams and aspirations and believe that I can achieve anything if I put my mind to it.
The actual problem though is the fact that I know I wouldn't feel this guilt - or actually be made to feel like this - had I been born a man. My grandfather was congratulated by his friends on hearing that he finally had a grandson when they read in the paper of the birth of Alex Le Long. He grunted and said it was another girl. I've talked at length the impact this awesome man had on my life but it's this issue that continues to make me feel like I'm not good enough.
My post is quickly turning sad..
Anyway. The point of this post is this:
Just because a woman has dreams and aspirations does not mean that she should be overlooked because of her gender. She should be clearly pitted against her peers for the job and the best candidate wins. However - more often than not - men get the opportunities because they're seen as being more influential or inspiring or albeit interesting?
I know that this is not just an issue I face. It's something that's happening the world over. Because gender discrimination continues to happen. Despite the massive steps we've made.
Up until this point I've made a decision to put my career first. I've been lucky to have been able to do this. I haven't been burdened by distractions. I've been able to focus on me and what I want. Right now as I type I'm thinking that this sounds selfish. But would a man think this in the back of his mind? Would he feel overwhelming guilt for not having had children or having found a suitable wife by now? Some perhaps. But the majority are able to fly through and be bachelors like George Clooney (until recently) and get rewarded and celebrated for their focus on their career.
It frustrates me that it's not the same for women.
What I'd like to feel is rewarded and celebrated and valued for putting so much effort into my mahi and for putting it and my students first.
What I'd like to think about myself is that I am admired because I push myself to achieve my goals and work hard to do so. That I am valued because I continue to dream big and never stop learning.
I'd like to know that the world is ready for women to take a stand and be who we want to be without having to fit inside a particular box.
I'd like to know that despite whether I choose to have children or not that I won't be disregarded based on who I am. I'm totally fine if they don't think I have the qualifications or the ability to achieve their aims for that opportunity. But don't disregard me based on my gender nor my aspirations in life.
Edit:
Just found this post.
https://youtu.be/ltVPj6-5xpo
Beautiful.
This will be an ongoing post:
- SD created a Google + community for her chem class and realised she had the privacy settings too strict - at the moment our students don't have domain email accounts. She'd wanted to create a classroom but that wouldn't have worked either. She asked for help - we sat down and went through basics of posting on G+ and using Drive. Uploaded her first ppt file and converted it to a Slides file so we could add the link to her G+ post. She too was annoyed that we can't let students into the one she originally created yet - but agreed it would be a great place for the future to use it when they do have the emails. She said she was too eager. Love this. :) She's now created another community with easier privacy settings and has invited me to the group. Awesome!
- questioned about being a teacher but adding self as student when we created the classroom for TOD. JS came to me after going to the IT guys and CS and I couldn't fix the problem as I didn't have access to the admin console. Emailed the IT guys and said that I didn't have access and sent them the link to get it done. Then all of a sudden I had access to the Google Groups for Classroom admin and also JS was a teacher again. :)
- questioned about notifications from G+. Made a screencast for staff. Sent it out in last email with G form for feedback. Hopefully they get it :) It all comes down to how they organise their gmail accs though. So hopefully they fix it.
- questioned about one on one tutorial. Offered but we got our times mixed up.
-
Still buzzing out - in the words if Beau Monga - about our chat last night. It was awesome seeing some of the new primary teachers get on board and try it out as well as my awesome EngChat team helping others out.
The best thing last night was probably the video and how it began to develop and influence people's opinions about adopting a growth mindset. Was just thinking before about how I had written a tonne of questions for my own clarity - but chose the specific few that would make the chat not only well-rounded and organised - but ensured ultimate reflection and relating to our student's perspectives.
I think the change of night has helped as well as the promo I did in the week and days prior to the chat. Building the chat back up again is going to take more time than I thought originally but it was pumping last night!! I couldn't even keep up just favouriting and retweeting.
What I'd like to happen next is for someone to moderate alternate weeks so that I have time to participate as well. Also - have certain people delving deeper and challenging the recurring members thoughts like how Danielle has the Devil's Advocate now in #edchatnz. Would be cool to assign roles to different people each week - retweeting and curating via the @EngChatNZ account and even doing the Storify and promotion for week to come.
I think that with a few more chats under our collective belt we'll be able to build the chat up even more so.
My big aim this year is to ensure that our topics are accessible to any person in any sector - where it be ECE, Primary, Secondary or even Tertiary. I'd like to have guest writers and inspring people help mod our chat like imagine if we could get Glen Colquhoun or Maya Angelou! Or even Sarah Kay and Phil Koyczan and the spoken word whanau at The Front Line in Auckland.
So many options and we can only keep building on it. :)
A few people in the staffroom are talking about our reflections we do on a Thursday morning.
"Who in your department is even going to read them?"
"They're time consuming."
Laughter, "No-one will read them!"
Hmmm.
I wonder what those people would do if I showed them the stats of this blog or even one of my favourite teaching blogs...
Because in a small way they're right. Unless you're sharing your Interlead reflections with others in your school - no-one will be reading them. With Interlead - there isn't an easy way to read them. You've got to find each blog through a different link - whereas it'd be easier if it was on some type of blog roll or blog list like Blogger do.
I've tried to pass on these changes to the Interlead tech team... but they don't really seem to want to alter it.
If there isn't a global audience or even one outside our school - you'll only ever get perspectives from the same type of people - especially if you've only shared it with people who sit at your table.
If there was a way to show them that reflecting was HUGE and that others around the world could see it... then perhaps they'd see a point in it.
It's still a new thing to them too. For forever they haven't needed to be self-reflective or share their struggles or inquiries with others. It can be seen as having lost your power even admitting that you're struggling to your colleagues.
Of all people - your colleagues should be the ones that encourage and support you to get through the struggles.
Still - the one thing that irks me is when people ask - what kind of class is it. My frustrated answer is usually - a bunch of the craziest, zaniest, happiest and brightest group of kids.
Not ever should you give a kid a label of saying- they're an S class or that they're in Diligence or in Extension or they're in TRP or...
Why?
Because the kids then think that label is who they are. They begin to feel that they are all that label is - ever encompassing - and more importantly - that they will never be anything more than that.
Gah. Stop labelling kids. How are they ever going to overcome challenges and build growth mindsets if you only ever have a fixed and set mindset about them?
Am having a bit of disconnect between the quality reflection I am already doing on my blog and what I'm expected to do for school. At school we have to focus on an inquiry student.
But I feel like every student is an inquiry student.
At the moment I'm trying to crack three students in my Y11 class: one that just can't seem to understand what I need her to do with the novel analysis and who just closes her book (basically need to teach growth mindset to her and continue working with her - but to the detriment of the other students...though have asked our awesome TA to work with her), another student who has so so many issues going on at home and in her life that she isn't actually 'here' at school because she can't focus on her schoolwork - and refuses to go to a counsellor despite my ongoing pleading, the student who has serious individual learning needs but who brought his laptop in the other day so he didn't have to deal with his "chicken scratch" as he put it - I nearly jumped for joy!! He became the key member of his group which was really cool to see the transition in him as he was able to become the leader - perhaps for the first time ever, the student who isn't asking for help despite our awesome relationaship and her usual willingness to accept my advice and ideas - something must be going on and I just haven't had the time to go figure it out.
Then of course there are my other classes.
Y12L - students who consistently work well but who I am trying to further extend consistently.
Y12A - students who at times give up on themselves because they've been told they're not good enough or that have become to believe it to be true. Other students who try so damn hard and it's absolutely beautiful. One particular inquiry student has finally made some progress!! He was sitting right by me as they were doing their creative writing. He mucked around for a while - but in the end actually wrote half a page. The mucking around was oral brainstorming, playing with the story cubes for ideas and asking me questions about the dream world because we're about to start watchinf Inception. Because we have a projector now!! No more stalling!!! :)
I was so incredibly impressed by them all last lesson. All I gave them was the line, "As I lay my head down on the pillow, all thoughts disappeared." We did a basic idea brainstorm and gave them 20 minutes on the timer. They wanted it extended to the end of the period - and to Friday for some of them to further work on it at home. Completely quiet - all students working. Stoked.
Y10 English - every single student in this class is an inquiry student. The student who worked so hard on his poetry last term and I just hope that he continues to develop his growth mindset towards the rest of his studies this year. I bought him a poetry book by Yeats abd gave it to him on Tuesday. Love how much he's reading. Tye student who is super enthusiastic for 9 square. The students who fight for top spot for 9 square! How to further extend them? Not allow three letter words.
The student who keeps mucking around - talking, being immature... it's good to finally see that the rest of the class are at the point that they don't break into the other two students silly behaviours too. They've finally crossed that point. Looking forward to the rest of the year now!!
Y1p Social studies - my favourite class.
I asked them the other day whether they wanted to have human rights as their focus for rhe year. They didn't get what I meant because partly they must not understand what rights are and also wanted to learn other things. What they'll realise though is that everything comes back to human rights or animal rights.
Showed them an amazing video yesterday after going through 10 of the human rights from the Declaration of Human Rights. Showed them the facebook page I made up for them over the holidays and have been collating different links for them. Helps my personal FB feed too! Less school stuff. The video though - truly hit home. The two inquiry students I've been worried about in terms of their lack of empathy towards the Holocaust - I think that video began to hit home. Homework last night was to look up the different rights that are not being upheld in different countries currently and historically.
So - there. That's just a small taste of the range of inquiries I've been doing.
And it has nothing to do with my personal inquiries.
And furthermore - focussing down on one student - while beneficial - makes me think that I'm not giving adequate time to the other 140+ kids I teach.
A mentor recently told me to think of myself as my own HOD. As someone who has responsibility for my growth and who is looking at others and their way of doing things so that when I get into the positions I want in the future - I'll know my own best practice.
She said that she often talks to herself as the other and provides essential feedback and observations.
While this may sound odd - I actually like the essence of it. Because essentially as reflective practitioners we are expected to constantly improve our results - and albeit, game.
So in terms of this -
As HOD of myself:
- Need to email myself the dates for upcoming assessments that are due so that my students have a deadline and that I have a definite one
- Need to print out (gah - paper - trees) all of the forms I need for each assessment and file them into each classes folder.
- Need to get emails of all students (if we aren't moving forward asap with GAFE) so I can update students of their flipped learning site: https://sites.google.com/a/whhs.school.nz/evolving-at-heights/
- Need to find myself PLD on flipping my class, using GAFE more effectively, enabling staff to feel more comfortable with change and learning, relearning and unlearning to learn again
- Need to encourage myself as often as possible so that I continue to be the best teacher I can be
- Need to watch out for my health and wellbeing and do what Ian Vickers said
- Need to support myself with upcoming opportunities and welcome new ideas into the department (me)
- Need to awhi myself in understanding that there are just things I cannot change despite my very best efforts to agitate and create change
As Mentor for myself:
- Push myself to go for any PLD or opportunity that looks good and offers benefits to my teaching and learning
- Continue agitations at kura so as to make others think about their teaching practices.
- Develop a stronger resilience against those who refuse to change or those who give a cold shoulder to my ideas. Ka whawhai tonu ake!
- Motivate myself to use my time wisely. One non-contact each and every day. Prep. Reflections. Lesson planning. Admin.
Most of all -
Find the beautiful positive in every single day and every moment.
Again... I don't quite know how it worked but... it did. Perhaps it was the scaffolding or the flexibility or the one on one group work, checking up on everyone and getting everyone involved.
Was really really easy to see the two students disruptinf their own learning... and actually - none of the other kids were put off because they were all in their own little poetry ecosystems. So so cool.
Really need to figure out how to recreate this. I feel like it's a mixture of the 'right kinda kids' and also perseverance.
To have kids choose to write their own poems over beginning the decorating side or for those who want to start the decorating side and think while they're doing it. Or having one student working on Minecraft creating billboard signs with poetry on them or another creating a PowerPoint on my laptop and looking up Hone Tuwhare poems for more inspiration. Or the student who has consistently been on point, choosing poems by Coleridge and Wordsworth for his selection. Or the student reading out of the poetry book I lent her last week to the disruptive students beside her - trying to help them get on task - but then ignoring them while still sitting beside them - doing her work. Or the students at the back immersed in their music, using it to create a collaborative song. Or the student so immersed in his own poetry that he was finding it hard to get it out "right".
Somehow... I helped create this.
And it's simply wonderful.
After last year and being so incredibly drained by the immature behaviour and consistent setbacks with changing class dynamics and constant stops during the lessons - it is so so nice to finally see them involved, participating and getting into it.
At one point I stopped them for a bit to talk about a Class Dojo point goal - 50 points by the end of the term. And one student said, "Miss, this is not helping. I'm in the zone." Or something to that effect. He just wanted to get back into his poetry and honestly... that is the coolest thing hearing that from him.
Of course... it could also be the cupcakes that I gave out at the start of the lesson in recognition of two boys' birthdays over the weekend, promised rewards from last year that I owed and just because they've really been working so damn well.
Stoked.