Sunday, 14 August 2016

The Issue with Possibility...

I have to admit I'm slowly coming down from the high that was being with the #edchatnz whanau these last two days.

Being at Rototuna Junior High School was an absolutely amazing experience.

I had a job interview yesterday. At RJHS for Rototuna Senior High School. My first feelings was that it went well. I shared a bit about my story and who I am... where I'm from. Talked about my experiences as a student teacher at Matamata College and the complete contrast at Huntly College. Why this was so integral to me wanting to be a teacher.

I'm feeling now that I may have shot myself in the foot by not talking about the fact that I do have a life outside of teaching... because all I said was that I have a dog and a cat... and that I like to read. I also said I love my family. All of these are massive understatements and as I was driving home last night I kept thinking about all the things I could have said.

How I love watching Netflix and playing Pokemon Go. How I read a LOT during the summer... and throughout the year my time becomes devoted to professional development and learning with my students. How I have a LOT of nieces and nephews and have been umming and ahing about even having kids anymore. How I love to sing and miss performing in Kapa Haka. How I wish I could dance better than I do hahaha I always wanted to be a ballerina. How I love MAKING and creating things. How I'm a tinkerbell from way back. How I'm an innovator and an inventor. How I try new things constantly. How I adore cooking and teaching my sisters how to cook different kinds of food. How I love waking up to the sounds of cars driving past my house and the sun beaming through the windows. How I love driving and how badly I want/need to travel. How I've been dreaming for a life and how I've put it on hold til I truly found myself and moved on from my past. How I've worked hard to build a life for myself with such supportive friends and colleagues around the country and around the world. How Facebook and other social media is my main form of communication as I'm living in Rotorua away from my best friends.

But I'm glad my skills in cultural responsiveness got across. I'm glad that I was able to articulate my thoughts and perspectives clearly enough. (EDIT: Bahahahaha... nope). I'm glad I didn't stutter or forget what I was saying. I'm glad that there was a feeling of true interest in those who were interviewing me and that they were keen to learn who I was. It showed that they too value relationships and creating that connection.

I keep thinking about how I might feel if I don't get this job. If they go with someone else instead. I'm the best at coming up with a bad situation... or worst possible situation... that being I don't get the job. That literally is a possible situation. But I'd still have my current job. I still love my students and the staff that I work with. I still have big ideas on how to enable change and I'd love to continue with that... but there is finally a positive perspective towards that nagging in me. One that I've held off since stepping inside Hobsonville Point Secondary School. That negative nagging perspective saying that I'm holding myself back, that I'm not ready. But I think I finally am.

Like the principal said - there is never a right time to move. But if I don't jump at a chance like this I would have always regretted it.

I chose to stay at Heights for the past four years, loyal to my principals and my students.

It's time for me to develop myself further. Push myself out of my comfort zone. I wholeheartedly believe that there is a need for me at a school like that. It's a similar need at my current school too though. The need to embed myself into something exciting. To help where I can. That need to grow and develop. To connect wholeheartedly with the concept of Ako.

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