Friday 29 March 2024

Crossroads

I'm feeling a whole lot of different paths laid out for me. 

I used to want to be a principal. Not anymore. 

I love teaching. I hate the adult politics. 

I love my students and enjoy learning with them.  But the amount of stress that comes from the sheer magnitude of the rigged education system, lack of resources, support and skill development is bonkers. 

I ask for support. It falls on deaf ears. 

I continue to seek help. 

Doesn't work. 

I'm just going to either find a new pathway that fits me, or fight til I'm literally burnt out. 

Thursday 21 March 2024

An emoji representation of my day

Thanks to Whaea Maude for this cool example of how to write about your day --

This is mine: 

Bro. Never have I ever needed a post like this before. 

First I went ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ˜ and then I went ๐Ÿซฃ๐Ÿฅฑ๐Ÿ˜ซ and then ๐Ÿซฃ๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿ˜ฎ‍๐Ÿ’จ and then ๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿซก๐Ÿฅน๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ˜ƒ and then ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ and then ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿฅฐ and then ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿซฃ๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜ฎ‍๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ˜ฎ‍๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ˜ฎ‍๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿฅฑ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿ™„ and then ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜ต‍๐Ÿ’ซ๐Ÿซจ๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿซฃ๐Ÿฅฑ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿซฃ๐Ÿ˜‘๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ and then ๐Ÿ˜ฎ‍๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜ญ and then ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜† and then ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ˜ and then ๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚

Reflection 2 -- Hard Day -- Y9s are awesome

I got a box of these yesterday and am so glad I did - even if just for the moment that came from my first lesson today ๐Ÿงก 

If you're wondering what I used these for -- alphabet, digraphs, consonants, vowels, beginning blends and ending blends and heart words -- 
Pink -- vowels
Teal - digraphs
Blue - ending consonant blends
Yellow - beginning consonant blends
Red - heart words

I still need a purple colour though for the vowel sound blends that are tricky -- that can be part of the heart word problematic spelling situation

Let me preface this by saying my new Y9 students are FREAKING amazing. I think they're the best Y9's I've encountered in over 13 years of teaching. I may have a little bias ๐Ÿ˜‚ #ManatuKids #TaitoaKids ๐Ÿงก #AurakiHard ๐Ÿงก (Love my #MauruaKids too! #BilingualismMatters)

So -- #storytime ๐Ÿ˜‚ 

We had an impromptu spelling test this morning, as all spelling tests should be ๐Ÿ˜‚ and we discussed different spelling tricks and strategies. While doing this, one of the students kept asking how to spell one specific word -- I think it might have been racism or strategy or something - I'm not sure. 

Anyway! 

While saying the word - I signed it. And oh my life!! did one of my students absolutely LIGHT up ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก

She signed it back and then buzzed out that I could sign (admittedly just bits and pieces) and was so stoked that I asked her to teach me more too. 

We had this cool little inside language, sharing it openly, normalising NZSL and talking about how others SHOULD know as it helps HEAPS. 

So -- just wanted to end my day on a really cool part because my days are peppered with these beautiful moments and rather than focus on the shitty parts -- I need to find the sunshine ๐Ÿงก

Oh and this !! 

One of my students showed me his writing. This kid had written over 500 words in two writing block lessons. 500!! And had the gall to tell me it was repetitive and boring. No. Not at all. Like at all. After I finished going through his writing with him, giving feedback, teaching him stylistic tricks and just being in absolute AWE of this writing legend -- I addressed the comment he wrote at the bottom of his writing -- and we deleted it. Because no part of what he'd written was boring or repetitive. It was freaking amazing. 

I showed him the Speculative Fiction NZ website, the competitions for writing and Starling Mag. And gave him more feedforward to further improve his writing. Because I tell you now - this kid will be a published author one day.

But while I addressed his comment - I also talked about how absolutely proud of him I was. How incredible his writing style was and how truly descriptive and engaging his story was. I talked that kid up - just to him - not to make his ego bigger but to fill his heart and to stop hating on himself so much. Because I saw a little sliver of anxiety and fear that his writing would never be good enough. For who? No idea. But I felt that connection and need for empathy powered counselling that truly hit home. 

๐Ÿงก 

I love teaching. I do. 

But I am exhausted of dealing with huge classes and no support. 

If you read this far and you're frustrated with me telling the truth? Best not check out my teaching blog from the past 13 years of teaching ๐Ÿ˜‚ most of the past year or two there aren't many posts because #burnout and #survival ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿ˜ญ but I totally felt empowered today and I'm going to keep advocating for myself and my students. Because our kids are our taonga and they deserve nothing but the best. Even if I can't be the best for them right now -- I can do what I can in the meantime til we have the right supports and resourcing in place #BYODadvocate ๐Ÿงก

Reflection 1 - Hard Day -- Y11s



Me pretending this is my peke ๐Ÿ˜‚ me pretending I made it ๐Ÿ˜‚ #occcwhanau 

Would straight up love to go back to my OG goal of being a kindy teacher, for real. ๐Ÿงก Am over the mad disrespect from SOME of our Opo teens right now. When I go to OCC I get soooo many waves, smiles and cuddles ๐Ÿงก the kids flock to me ๐Ÿงก sorry Riley ๐Ÿ˜‚ 

I think I need a break

#burnoutsucks Riding my third burnout wave like a boss ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿ˜ญ



Context -- year 11s were awful today. Not all. Some. I had to do TWO yellow cards. I never have to do them. Well, hardly ever. 

And two today. And it helped calm the kids down. 

But that was after another kaiako in the building came to check on me and the escalating situation. 

And after silly behaviour from students

And after my awesome seniors had volunteered their time to come support with the analysis and be my teaching assistants/teacher aides. 

Because there is no funding available for Y11s. 

And I have to get these kids through literacy. 

And there is SO much pressure. 

And soon I'm going to be the only senior English teacher in our kura. 

And it's heartbreaking. 

Hopefully we get the right people applying so I can be freed up to teach the seniors or just the right people apply so I have support in the senior school....



A comment to my mate in DM -- 
Yes! Tika tena oi ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿงก it's so downheartening and just upsetting. Our kids need to sort their shit out. And it's not all of them. Just some. But at Y11 I'd expect our kids to be better by now. But I just need some help. 35 kids, all high needs, and just me. It's really really hard. I've reached out for support from SLT. Am just waiting to find some funding or other solutions -- like team teaching or having another body or two to support the kids while I do one on one where needed. Makes me so sad for all the kids who miss out on the help they need and then play up because they can't access the learning. And it's not their fault. They actually want to learn. But I can't keep spreading myself so thin ๐Ÿงก

Wednesday 28 February 2024

#NCEArefresh - mini reflection

Mini reflection #NCEArefresh 

I've been pulling apart different articles, short stories and docos with my Y11s. For the majority of them - they're connecting with the ideas, learning how to identify the diff lang techniques quicker and becoming more confident when they get it wrong, to just try again. 

Am still having trouble with encouraging those who just don't want to engage ... But for now - I'm forging ahead with those majority who want to try. And it's pretty exciting. 

I've longed for this [actual teaching] for so long. Without the time constraints of assessment and management of the task etc - it's been really freeing to see our kids engage with texts, different levels of analysis and understanding.

#evolutionandimagination #burnoutcomeback