Coaching Conversations for Educational Leaders – Mary-Anne Murphy (CORE Ed) @mamurphy2
Clack and White Thinking – dealing with the facts and what’s going on. Still need compassion and heart.
Learn how to build rapport with people
1) mBraining Research and it’s application
2) Understanding how our brain makes meaning
3) Active Listening and it’s application
4) Reflective Quetioning and it’s application
Will be uploaded onto the
Intro to someone new
Discuss how you wish for us to work together today – “Our Ways of Working”
Love how she uses Te Kotahitanga refocussing tools – TK hand up
Our Agreed Ways of Working
· Confidential /In Confidence
· No Judgement
· Everyone’s voices are heard
· Do tasks as set
We often make assumptions that we will all be working the same way. Being explicit about a co-constructed way of working.
Dilts Logical Levels of Learning
Purpose – for whom?
Identity – who? Sense of self GUT BRAIN
Values and Beliefs – why? Permission and motivation HEART BRAIN
Capabilities – How? Inc. methods and strategies HEAD BRAIN
Behaviour – what? HEAD BRAIN
Environment – where? Context HEAD BRAIN
Multiple Brains – mBraining
Head Brain – Creativity 80 bill neurons
Heart Brain - Compassion
Enteric (gut) brain – Courage
Head Brain Prime Functions
Emotions – emotional processing
Values – processing what’s important to you and your priorities
Relational Affect – your felt connection
Gut Brain Prime Functions
Core identity – a deep and visceral sense of core self, and determining at the deepest levels what is ‘self’ versus ‘not-self’
Self-Preservation – protection of self, safety, boundaries, hungers and aversions
Mobilization – motility (?), impulse for action, gutsy courage and the will to act
Listen for the language and look for the gestures.
Our Brain is a meaning making machine.
BEARS - gather an image of a bear in your mind.
Everyone has a different interpretation - how many options for mis-interpretation.
Active listening: The Worst Mistakes - Pic on Twitter.
Timing and feeling the need to continue working on what you're doing
Sometimes it's not the time for that talk. "Hey, I really appreciate it that you've come to me to talk about this. Can we set a time to talk about it further?"
SIMPLE - But not EASY.
We bring all of our experiences and knowledge - We need to leave it just there - Need to create a space of nothing. And then from there - anything can come.
Don't go into a conversation and expecting it to happen a certain way.
Going to this conversation from a place of authenticity.
I'm not going to try to twist what you've said into what I want you to do.
Reflective Listening - pic on Twitter
Don't parrot back
Cherry Pick - find the values and key points
Active Listening Activity
Groups of 3-4
practising Cherry picking
Be aware of how you position yourself and your body.
Imaging. Following how they sit and place their hands. Mirroring. Creating a system of rapport. Pace and Lead. BRILLIANT.
Start to Listen First.
How is that affecting you?
What's the outcome that you want?
What have you tried already?
What has worked well in the past?
What's the problem you're having with this?
How are you not achieving/doing this?
What would happen if you ...Rest of the questions are on the hand out!
Same scenario - Use questions.