Win Your Own Race

Me and Ri were eating our pancakes today - I finally had finished cleaning up, and had just sat down and was eating mine. He finished his first and said, Finished Aunty! I won my own race. 

I looked up at him and smiled, nearly crying. I told him I was proud of him. 

We've been working on this kaupapa for soooo long. 

If you've come to any of our hang outs, seen his epic meltdowns or been on the other end of a punch, scream, bite or scratch... You'll know how big this is. 

We've been talking heaps about winning his own race, winning against himself. That he doesn't have to win against anyone else. That his personal wins are enough and in fact, that's way better than just winning a race against someone else. 

And today, I can sleep happy - knowing we're finally making progress, he's having less meltdowns -- yes still meltdowns... He's understanding protecting our own boundaries and respecting each other better. 

For the last few days, maybe a week or so now - Ri and Crys have been waiting on me to wake up. Literally. I've been so exhausted, body exhausted and stressed -- but I've also been incredibly happy. Beyond happy. 

I have freedom but I also have a constant fear that I'm going to have to go back into the cage. I want to win my own race too.

Quiz Night Fundraiser

Kia ora whanau 💜 Sending big aroha to you all right now. It's a ridiculously crazy time to be in education and although the chaos continues - I'm enjoying my pivot moment -- inside and outside education -- creating activities and creative programmes for local tamariki and rangatahi. 

I really wanted to shout out to you all for helping to keep me tau over the past thirteen years 💜 All those #EngChatNZ late night korero on Twitter (never calling it the other name 🤣) and the connections made at EduCamps, conferences, PPTA hui etc. Thank you for being an incredible support in my life as an educator, the best springboard for ideas and collaborators 💜

I'm also really keen to invite you to our Ōpōtiki Rangatahi Pā Quiz Night Fundraiser! 🤣💜 

Quiz Night is this Sat -- but we are also looking for sponsors, koha and encouragement 💜 If you can think of anyone who lives close - please send them this poster. If you know any pakihi that might be willing to tautoko -- please help.

If you reckon Ōpōtiki is too far -- kei te pai tēnā! 

If I've ever helped you with marking, inspo, support or help in anyway -- I need help now to make our collective dreams come true. We want to build a youth centre in Ōpōtiki, but for now -- we need help to create a dedicated home base. 

Years ago you all helped me in my Crowdfunding to get to ULearn in 2016. Now my purpose has realigned -- refocussed and while I'll still be a teacher at my core, my kaupapa focus is wider, more youth development and community uplifting and a heap more deeper 💜 (hopefully far reaching too!)

If you can help -- I'd be forever grateful -- if you just want to follow our journey on Social Media -- that would be epic too. 

Poster and tono here -- koha link in comments 💜 

It'd be epic to see you all at some point in the future. I think we're getting close to an #EdChatNZ and #EngChatNZ reunion too! 

Pōmarie 💜

https://opencollective.com/te-ariroa-evolutions/events/quiz-night-fundraiser-koha-for-the-kaupapa-48b17d54

Pivot

After my crash, I sat on the side of my bed, middle of the night, lights off, bawling my eyes out. Riley was asleep in my bed. I tried to bawl quietly. 

I knew then, that it was time. To step out and away from education as it was. As it is right now. 

I cried for the imminent break-up with education. With the system. With my need to do what my tūpuna have been telling me for years to do. 

A wairua decision and a long held one... For many years. That it was finally time to step aside and let the next teacher come in. 

The main issue with this plan -- is that there aren't many new teachers. And barely any teachers coming in to apply at our kura, in our town. 

I'm worried for my students - the incessant stream of relievers. 

I chose the 22nd Aug which will give me time with the kids before I leave. 

I'm worried about my staff and colleagues I'm leaving behind -- so I'm creating new lessons, plans and resources. 

I'm worried about my whanau who are worried about me. Because I broke the poverty mindset cycle. And I made changes. But now - it's time for me to make a change so I'm happier and living my dream. 

I'm excited that now I can step fully into my dream job, make it actually happen and build my future reality and pivot - HARD. 

I'm excited that now I can connect with my real purpose and engaging with our community to uplift everyone. 

But, I have to start with me. 

I made the decision to resign. It did not come lightly. I will not go back into traditional education... For a time... Maybe ever. I need something more for now. 

And so do our students. 

Our students deserve better - always. 

And so -- I take my leave, bowing out, thankful for all the growth, the lessons and the people I met along the way. 

Follow us on Ōpōtiki Rangatahi Pā for our next adventure 💜